Switched
by orange-InuYasha
Summary: To some, InuYasha can be really confusing. So, when a group of friends are starting to go crazy because of one of the circle's anime obsession, she turns on them and sends them to Feudal Japan. Alone.
1. Arrival in Feudal Hell

Ok. My first fanfiction story. This should be interesting;

Sorry guys, this is my second time writing this. It was kicked of off a while ago, so I decided to re-write it.

If u had reviewed before it was kicked of, um, would you please re-review? Please please please? It would help a bunch. Thanks.

These people are ordinary people in America. But when they are sucked in a well and end up in Feudal Japan, their lives get twisted. What's even more twisting is the fact that they come out AS CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW INUYASHA. Lets see who can survive the longest...

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Characters:

Jill: a very calm and collected girl until you get to know her. She can kill you with one stroke of her evil look of doom. ;-). A bit of a klutz, but elegant and always in order. Logical in some ways. Funny enough, she's very boy crazy.

Jess: goofy in some ways. Loveable, but a bit hot tempered. Very blunt. She's a class known comedian. Watch out for her wit. Its rather scary...Has somewhat of an idea of who the hell the InuYasha characters are, so, she might come in handy...

KC: bit ditzy. Rocker at heart, though. Looks proper enough, but on the inside, well, she's a little scary. Can get a little wild.

Nicole: very calm and collected. Never shaken. Always the essence of a proper girl. Brushed, neat, and polite.

Heather: evil camp aide. Mutters random Japanese words under her breath, and she's the only one who understands what the word "baka" means. Very supportive, though. Incouraged me to write for you peoples. Major InuYasha fan, so she's the only one who _really_ has any idea whats going on.

Alexa: wild, weird, and random. Rocker at heart, and can be a little wild. Can be obsessed with something easily, but not with boys. Lost in her own world often, likes to torture people.

Jamal: goofy, loveable guy. Loves to hang out with the girls. Loves food even more, though. Our food eating contest weapon. Curses bit too much...

* * *

Now you know our victims. They will be placed to the test when they are sent to survive in Feudal Japan as random InuYasha characters. What fun.

* * *

The InuYasha gang where all in the middle of a big fight with Naraku, and losing. InuYasha was just about to use the "Wind Scar", when the scene faded. All was black. InuYasha, confused, braced himself for one of Naraku's "hidden abilities". What he found was much different...

InuYasha woke up, staring at the grey tinged sky above him. 'What the...I'm supposed to be fighting Naraku!' "Kagome! Miroku! Sango! Shippou! Where are you?" He shouted, looking around.

Kagome and everyone else got up off the ground. Most of them were looking around, dazed.

Kagome, after looking at everyone, then herself, asked in a daze, "What's going on? Where am I?" She looked down at herself more intently. "WHY AM I IN A MINI SKIRT!"

InuYasha was only a little shocked. (sarcasm) "Kagome?"

Kagome looked over at him, and a freaked out look appeared on her face. "Who's Kagome?"

Sango, who was still a little dazed, looked at the scene and herself very carefully. After admiring her Demon Exterminator's outfit, she squealed. "Oh my god! Look at me! I'm Sango! O yeah! Sango kicks butt!" Sango doing a little happy dance, which made everyone stare at her like she was insane.

Shippou and Kilala got up. Kilala ran up to Sango and licked her face. Sango looked a little dazed, again. Shippou just stood there, looking at himself intently. Like everyone else had done. He suddenly yelled, "Why are my hands only one/eighth the size of my head! And look at my feet! They're long and skinny, like little rodent feet! WHATS GOING ON?"

Miroku got up, and looked at everyone. Sango tried to run away from a very persistant Kilala, Shippou feeling himself over, and screeching when he finds his tail, Kagome sitting there with a dazed expression on her face, and InuYasha staring at all three of them acting rather, er, strange.)

Miroku, after pausing for a bit, asked the story that was going through everyone's head, "InuYasha, what is going on?"

InuYasha, after looking at Miroku like he was and idiot (which he was...), responded with the answer we all expected, "How the hell should I know?"

Kagome and Shippou looked up.

Everyone stared for a bit, but then all in unison, exclaimed, "SO YOUR INUYASHA!"

InuYasha sighed, shaking his head at their stupidity, "Yeah."  
(Eyebrow rise.) "When did you find that out?"

Kagome, pausing, then came to a conclusion. "So, you must be Miroku, the perverted monk..."

Mirokiu grew very still and blushed like any normal person would...

"And I'm...," Kagome said, puzzled. She again looked down at herself, "...dammit."

InuYasha double taked. "What!"

Shippou, a looked of realization on his face, said, "Jess? Is that you?"

InuYasha and Miroku exchanged an odd look.

Kagome, puzzled again, asked the little kitsune, "Who are you?"

Miroku looked at Kagome like she was insane or something. (Which she might be...I dunno...)

Miroku, shaking his head, reminded her. "That's Shippou, remember?"

Shippou, who was ignoring Miroku's comment, said, "Its me, Jill."

Kagome freaked. "Oh my frikken god, is that you, Jill? Whats going on? Where are we?"

Shippou, thinking, "Well, if that's InuYasha, that means we're in..."

Kagome swore. "Dammit. O just dammit all."

Shippou randomly yelled, "I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PAY, ALEXA!"

Sango suddenly realizes something's going on.

Sango screeched. "Whoa. What does this have to do with Alexa?"

Shippou went off the deep end then. "She kinda stuck us in here. And look at me! I'M A SQUIRREL! LOOK AT ME! I HAVE A TAIL AND FEET AND HANDS TOO SMALL FOR MY BODY! AND YOU ASK ME WHATS WRONG?"

Sango whispered to Kagome, "Does she do this often?"

Kagome sighed. "All the time. So, who are you?"

Sango looked at the disturbed and freaking out Shippou. "I'm Heather. Remember me?"

Shippou stops his random ranting about obsessed fangirls and having too much time on their hands (guess who she is talking about...).

Shippou pointed a mini finger at Sango. "So its your fault! You're the one who got Alexa into all this crappy junk! I will kill you!"

Shippou ended up getting wacked in the head with Miroku's staff.

Miroku sighed. "Calm down, Shippou."

Shippou laughed. "I'm not Shippou! I'm Jill!"

InuYasha suddenly snapped.

InuYasha yelled, "Will you just all shut up! We're still in the middle of a battle!" He turned. "Naraku! I'm gonna finish you off right here and now!"

Kagome freezed. "Who's KC's character again?

Shippou hit himself on the head. "O dammit! Its Naraku, or the dude in the baboon pelt! No, wait!"

InuYasha froze. "KAGOME," he said, staring at her with a look of pure horror in his eyes. "Don't you dare..."

Sango whispered, "Kagome, er, I mean Jess, say the word 'sit boy.'"

Kagome looked at her. "Why?"

Sango just kept yelling, "Just do it!"

Kagome sighed. "Ok. Sit boy!"

thud

Shippou snickered. "That must hurt."

Miroku laughed. "Yeah, it does."

Shippou and Kagome ran over to the still unconscious Naraku

Kagome shrieked. "KC, Katelyn, are you alive?"

Naraku, groggily, "Yeah. What happened? Whoa!" He saw Kagome and Shippou "Who are you?"

Shippou sighed. "Remember the InuYasha crap Alexa's always talking about? And the guy in the baboon pelt she characterized you as?"

Naraku rubbed his head. "yeah...kinda..."

Kagome sighed. "Guess what happened, then."

Naraku gasped. "Don't tell me..."

Shippou and Kagome together, "Yep..."

Naraku said what everyone wanted to say (and Kagome did say) for the past couple of sentences, "Dammit."

Shippou sighed. "My thought exactly..."

Naraku shuddered. "We should have never let her make that replica of a Japanese well outside her window..."

Sango looked up. "What well?"

Kagome nodded. "No, we shouldn't have..."

Au: all i want to know is, what well outside her window? I don't have a well!


	2. Enlightenment And Confusion All Rolled I...

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thanks guys for the reviews. I have, like, four reviews. ::exagerated smile::

**Jess**: hey thanks see you soon?

**Heather**: happy birthday dude. U had better like it, ur in it!

**Rachel**: really? Thanks. I hope you review again. I like being praised ::beam:: lol.

**Sesshygirl3**: thanks a lot. ur fics have saved me from insanity. peoples these days-----::snort::. lol. i really appressiate it. Thanks again!

* * *

Everyone looked at Naraku with a confused look on their faces.

InuYasha growled, confused, "Hey, wait! You guys know each other?"

Kagome looked at him, then back at Naraku, "Yeah. This is our friend KC. We're kinda best friends."

Shocked look on InuYasha's face becomes surprisingly more shocked. "What!?!?!?!? Since when?"

Shippou tried to calculate exactly how long. "Um...................

Sango cut in. "Remember, we're not supposed to be here!" She is then attacked by a soul catcher/Kikyo's little flying things.

Both Sango & InuYasha state the same thing. "Dammit."

Kikyo looked around. "What's going on here?

Kagome looked around, startled. "And who are you again?"

As InuYasha started to have serious doubts about Kagome's sanity, Miroku was answering everything for him. "That's Kikyo, remember? You're the reincarnation of her spirit."

Kagome nodded as if she understood (and she didn't.) "oooo." freaked look on her face. "Since when???"

Sango sweat dropped, "well..........................................."

Shippou sighed, muttering to himself about idiotic morons. "Remember? She's the girl with the little jewel thingy ma bob in her hands in that pic Alexa showed us? The one you called really ugly? With the black hair?"

Kagome looked enlightened. "O, her................."

Kikyo fumed. "You called me what? Wait, who are you guys?"

Kagome & Shippou sweat dropped. "Well....................."

Kikyo looks at herself. "O my god, when did this happen? I'm only eleven years old! I'm not supposed to be this tall!"

Kagome gasped. "Nicole?"

Naraku looked up. "Nicole? What are you doing here?"

Kikyo seriously starts to freak. "who are you? Wait....................(studies Naraku)..................baboon pelt, looks like a girl, really bad style.........you must be Naraku..................o my god........................(looks at everyone).....................KATELYN!!!!!!!!"

Naraku rolled his eyes. "well, now everyone knows..........."

Kagome looked at Kikyo. "how'd we get here, Nicole?"

Everyone seems to forget poor InuYasha, still lying on the ground with a surprised/ disgusted/ confused look on his face.

InuYasha whispered. "Kikyo."

Everyone turns.

Miroku shook his head. "I don't think that's Kikyo, InuYasha. "Shippou", "Kagome", and "Naraku" seemed to call her "Nicole". Whoever that is.........."

"Katelyn, who are they?" Kikyo asked Naraku, confused.

Naraku sighed. "the girl with the long black hair and boomerang is Heather, the girl with the bow is Jess, and the little three-foot thing is Jill."

"Jill, Jess? What happened?"

Kagome looked like she was going to try to explain something to a three year old. "remember all the stuff about the InuYasha thing Alexa LOVES soo much?"

Kikyo said slowly, "yeah......."

"well, guess what we're in....." Naraku started to say before Shippou interrupted him.

"I'm gonna kill you Alexa!"

"well, I'm happy with who I am." Sango state matter-of-factly.

Death stares from everyone but InuYasha and Miroku because they're still trying to figure out who is who...

Sango sighed in defeat. "ok, ok, we'll go find Alexa and kill her."

Kagura and Kanna show up unexpectedly.

Kagura laughs. "Naraku! What are you doing on the ground? Why are you not finishing InuYasha off?" she looks around "Kikyo..... Kagome..... Shippou..... Sango..... Miroku..... the little cat thingy......

Kilala growled.

Miroku yelled to InuYasha. "finish Naraku off, InuYasha, or I will!"

Kagome, Shippou, Kikyo, and Sango all yelled out. "NOOOO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

Kagura snickered. "fine, if you wont' finish them off, I will. (pulls out fan) Wait......." (pause) "......Naraku?"

Kanna turns her mirror. "we should go, sister."

Kagura looked appalled. "what? We're this close to victory, and you want to retreat?"

Kanna stares. Kagura shudders slightly. "fine then. Have it your way." Sweeps feather out of her hair and floats away with Naraku and Kanna. "You will see us again, and we will defeat you!" They disappear.

InuYasha gets up. "Kikyo....."

Kikyo has this look on her face like she doesn't realize why InuYasha keeps saying her "name" and has that look in his eye.

Kagome starts to fume. "Oh no you don't---"

Sango called. "Kilala!" Kilala comes and starts licking Sango. "Will you cut that out? Kilala, take Kikyo and drop her off at Naraku's fortress."

"mew?"

Sango and Miroku just yelled, "do it!"

Kagome started to crack her knuckles. "It's gonna get ugly."

Kilala nodded. "mew." Kikyo is swept onto Kilala's back and rides away with a confused look.

InuYasha turns at Sango. "what'd you do that for?"

Shippou whispers to Kagome, "isn't Nicole, er, Kikyo, the one who tries to pull InuYasha into hell?"

InuYasha freezed, then exploded.

_Author's note: I could write what InuYasha says, but it was a little muffled because of Miroku's quick staff work, and Kagome/Jess was getting very good at the whole "sit" thing...... And I had to rate the damn thing PG 13, not R._

Sango nodded sagely. "Yeah, she is."

Shippou looked up. "Why?"

Miroku shrugged. I don't know, but whatever the reason is, it's probably InuYasha' fault anyway.

Kagome really starts to fume. "Nicole tries to drag people down to hell, obviously she enjoys it down there; five foot four Jill shrunk down to 'bout three foot, and looks more like a squirrelly thing; KC wears baboon pelts; Heather is a kick butt girl with a big boomerang and a little cat thingy that is scary when pissed; and I'm in a mini skirt. Damn, I am sooo going to kill Alexa."

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dun dun dun!

Now, who is this mysterious Alexa?

Why does Sango/Heather know whats going on?

What's Kagome/Jess's problem?

AND--------------

**_WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??????????????????????_**


	3. Meetings and Finding Nothing

**Reviewers**:

jess: well, hey! hope you enjoy it. Well------ yeah, here ya go!

sesshygirl3: hey. yes, another chapter. no prob, my pleasure! think of it as my revenge after my crazy friends---cause I can't do it any other way. lol.

guys, ur slacking! more reviews, or I delete! please, guys, tell people bout this or something! I review to you! now, please please please, review! please!

* * *

_Author's Note: I realize the characters might be a little confusing, considering they're all people we don't really know. So, you make you peoples happy, I'm going to put a list of the characters so far:_

**Shippou**-Jill

**Kagome**-Jess

**Sango**-Heather

**Kikyo**-Nicole

**Naraku**-KC

* * *

_Author's Note 2: if the people that I used to make this possible, a.k.a our victims, I do not mean to be offensive. I am only using what my mind comes up with for the plot to make it worth reading. Thanks!_

* * *

The group has been walking for a while, looking for the mysterious Alexa.

Shippou sighed. "I'm tired. Where are we? Do you know where we're going?"

InuYasha snaps and hits Shippou on the head hard.

"Well, THAT was uncalled for." Shippou whines.

InuYasha snickers. "Uh......yes it was."

Shippou shook his head. "Was not!"

InuYasha nodes. "Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

(**etc**, **etc**.)

Sango whispers to Miroku, "Er, should we do something?"

Miroku shakes his head and sighs. "I don't think we can, Sango." "What? Oh, yeah, that's me. I think................................yeah." Sango said, unsure.

Kirara meows.

Kagome said, scratching her head, "do I get a say in this?

Sango took a deep breath. "well, you could always tell InuYasha to "sit", but then he'll start yelling at you, and you'll get angry, and go home to your own era, and that'll make Shippou mad, and he'll yell at InuYasha and pester him to bring you back, and InuYasha will refuse, get all sulky, and act like a small child. While all this is happening, Miroku and I will be sitting on the sidelines, shaking our heads and asking whether we should get involved. And then Miroku will say we shouldn't, and probably ruin the moment by making some perverted suggestion or two. I'll then hit him and/or slap him, and Shippou will say we're all acting like a bunch of children, which will upset InuYasha, causing him to hit Shippou again."

Kagome and Miroku give Sango a blank stare.

Sango grinned, but sweatdropped. "Hey, its either I know all this, or I breathe. Guess which one I picked."

Kirara meows.

The group **_FINALLY_** stops underneath a large tree. InuYasha, like always, sits on a skinny little branch that doesn't look like it could support a single leaf, let along his weight, high in the tree.

Kagome looked up. "Why InuYasha in the tree? Is he part squirrel demon or something?"

Sango paused, thinking. "You know, I've wondered about that for a while........Maybe he is part squirrel."

Shippou explodes. "But I'M supposed to be the squirrel! ME!! NOT HIM, ME!!!"

_Author's note: Shippou, er, I mean Jill, has some anger management issues. Just thought you should know......_

Miroku thinks. _(Author: gasp! a first!)._ "hummm..............................I wonder................................."

Sango shrieks and slaps him. "I may look like Sango, but I'm not someone you can just touch like that!"

Miroku shakes his head. "Damn that wandering hand..........and eye.............."

Kagome, Shippou, forgetting he's a boy (he's played by a girl right now.), and Sango shudder and run to opposite part of the clearing.

**Later that night.....**

InuYasha looks up. "Miroku, feel that?"

Miroku nods. "Yes, I do."

Sango looks up too. "Something fell stirs in the air." (**Pause**.). "Oh, God, I'm quoting LOTR again."

Shippou blushes. "Oh, sorry 'bout that. Damn pork and beans........"

Sango sighs. "I didn't mean that.....................though that wasn't something we needed to know........................we DO forgive you.................................."

But Kagome's still not cool with it. "And you where in MY sleeping bag the whole time? You disgust me!"

InuYasha mutters to Miroku, "Well, that's a first."

"I heard that!"

InuYasha snickered. "Gonna do something 'bout it?"

Kagome sighed. "According to Alexa, I may be a bit of a ditz sometimes, and always the damsel in distress, but it doesn't mean I can't kick your ass!"

InuYasha snaps. "Not if I kick yours first, human!"

"Bring it on, Dog-Boy!"

Miroku laughed. "Well, this should be something interesting to watch........"

Sango freezes. "Wait, what's that sound?"

Background music of the ice-cream man fills the air.....

Sesshomaru yells, "Jaken! Put the second disk in, you fool! That's Rin's music!"

But Jaken yells back in that high-pitched annoying voice of his, "there is no second disk......wait, who are you?"

InuYasha growled. "Sesshomaru! What are you doing here?"

Sesshomaru sighed. "I've come for the Tetsusaiga."

Sango shook her head. "Again? It hasn't even been three days!"

_(Author's Note: What is it with three days? Kagome says she'll go home for three days....all the time..................Sango asks for three days to fix her weapon in the episode with the peach man.............................it takes the dude three days to fix Tetsusaiga .............................................three days..............................WHAT IS UP WITH THAT PEOPLE???? HUH, ANYONE HAVE AN ANSWER???? (sorry, had to get that out of my system...........))_

Sesshomaru looked confused. "Really? It hasn't? Jaken, are you sure we're supposed to be here?"

Jaken looked confused. "Jaken, who's Jaken? I'm Jamal."

Kagome and Shippou screeched together. "JAMAL?????"

Jaken nods. "Yeah........................who are you? What is this two-headed staff thingy? WHY AM I ONLY ONE FOOT THREE???"

Sango sweat dropped. "Everyone has some kind of issue with their assigned height................... (**Sigh**)."

InuYasha paused. "ok.........................................are you ready to die THIS TIME Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru laughs evilly. _(AU: ok---I was bored.)_ "die? Me, die because of you? You filthy half-breed? Never. I believe it is I that will be killing YOU."

InuYasha laughed. "will not."

"Will too."

"will not."

"will too."

"will NOT!"

"Will TOO!!!"

Miroku sighed. "this is going on WAY too long..................................."

Kirara meowed.

Sango laughed. "that's right, Kirara! We could always run away and let them kill each other, but what's the fun in that?"

Kirara meowed.

Miroku shrugged. "sorry, no can do. InuYasha will kill us if we do."

Kirara meowed.

Shippou says slowly, "well........................that might work...........................if Kagome is up to it."

"I'll do anything! JUST MAKE IT STOP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kagome screams, holding her ears, and she writhes in pain.

InuYasha looks around. "hey! What's wrong with Kagome??"

Miroku paused. "ummm................we're not sure."

Sesshomaru snickered. "You care for that worthless creature, InuYasha?"

InuYasha fumes, like always. (**sigh**)

Kagome sweatdropped. "uh oh, we didn't make it any better, did we?"

Jaken laughed. "no, we didn't."

Sango flares. "Jaken! You e.g.t.!"

blank stare from everyone

Sango sweat drops. "uh................egt? (E)vil (G)reen (T)oad?"

All collectively. "o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h h."

Sesshomaru nods. "must add to my vocabulary list...................................be right back."

Jaken nods, but yells, "HEY!"

Sesshomaru and Jaken run away.

InuYasha runs after him and yells, "hey! Hey, get back here! You bastard!"

Kagome, "sit boy!"

**(bam.)**

InuYasha freaks. "WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR??"

Kagome looks confused. "oh, sorry, I needed a reason? Since when?"

Sango thinks. "no, you don't.......................not really....................................."

Kagome beams. "okay! Cool!"

InuYasha mutters. "dammit................................................"

Shippou chimes in randomly. "hey everybody!"

All sigh. "what?"

Shippou gets reeaallyy excited. "guess what night it is!"

All look confused. "what?"

Shippou giggles happily. "new moon night! Yeah!"

InuYasha randomly swears. "DAMN!!!"

Kagome fumes. "you can't curse! Sit boy!"

(**bam**)

InuYasha revises. "da- I mean..................awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, man."

Miroku shudders. "that was scary." :::insert sarcasm here:::

Sango looks away. "it certainly was." (**pause**.) "Hey, wanna go catch some fish?"

Shippou nods. "I'm game!"

Sango says perkily, "ok!"

Sango starts singing at the top of her voice "I want to change the world" in Japanese.

Miroku to Shippou, "well, that's something I didn't have to hear."

Shippou nods sagely. "you got that right." (**shudder**.)

Sango yells from far away. "I heard that!"

Miroku sweat drops. "o, damn."

InuYasha whines, "how come he can curse and I can't?"

Kagome paused. "well.............................................I dunno, really."

"What? WHAT'D YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?"

Shippou pouts. "Will you people stop yelling?"

InuYasha and Kagome together, "NO!!!!"

Shippou sulked. "ok, what-EVER!"

Kagome pauses. "that was scary"

"was not!"

"was too!"

"was not!"

"was too!"

"was not!"

"was too!"

"WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP ALREADY??????"

* * *

Hey guys. Ummmm. QUICK QUESTION.

* * *

Other than Naraku, who is your most hated person? AND.................how would you kill/torture/both them? I need to know............................................you know...............................................story ideas and all....................................................................plus........................................................i need a couple of laughs.................................................yes, me............................................the queen of random.................................................................................I need laughs like Kikyo needs souls and InuYasha needs both girl advice and/or counseling..................................................................................HELP!!!!!!!!!monkeys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...................................ok.................................I'm done....................................remember to answer the QUICK QUESTION!!!

Sorry it took forever for me to update, I was a little busy.

Orange-InuYasha


	4. The Offical Arrival of Sesshomaru

hey guys. it is offically the third anniversary of September 11, 2001. I just want to dedicate this chapter to all those many men and women who's lives where cut short because of a un-just attack on other innocant people.

So, all I have to say to them is:

**_Let's Roll._**

_---plane heading to (I believe) Washington DC capital battle cry. I salute and mourn you. _

__

* * *

**Reviewers**:

**Me**: well well well, very nice choices. Sure, I don't hate them, but, I love torturing them! But, the question is, HOW would you torture them? Thanks again!

**Suaru**: thanks for reviewing THREE TIMES IN A ROW! wow, you really do rock! thanks so much! Oh, no problem, my pleasure.

**seshygirl04**: wow, thanks. Ideas, well, they're optional, so, don't worry. U'll come up with something! Omg, thanks soo much.

**jess**: ok ok ok, ideas ideas ideas, I'm fixing, I'm fixing. lol. thanks!

**KLikMING**: wowowo, she said I was funny? thanks! I'm glad. everyone hates Kikyo---so---I better not tell you who I'm gonna be for the next Otakon convention---------

**sesshygirl3**: omg, I owe you SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! I'm not worthy! I SWEAR, I LOVE YOU AND I'M NOT WORTHY!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!! ur on my fav lidst 2, btw----

**inupheonix**: hey heather! whats up? been throught hell yet? I have. lol.

my god, guys, you really are making me type faster. **Sesshygirl3**, I owe you sooo much. I owe the rest of ya guys too! I love you!

* * *

**__**

**_Chapter 4. _**

**_The Offical Arrival of Sesshomaru._**

**__**

* * *

The group is sitting again near a little stream. Sango is refusing to sit anywhere near Miroku, and Kagome is really pissed at him for making perverted suggestions at her and Sango. Shippou, strangely, is sitting and playing with a rock. (_Why a rock, I dunno.......)_

Miroku sighed. "Well, where should we go? Should we follow Sesshomaru, or should we look for "Alexa"?"

InuYasha snorted. "Well duh, after Sesshomaru! What else? Has something gotten into you, monk?"

Sango looked thoughtful. "Ummm.....................maybe we should............................."

Shippou looks up. "WE'RE LOOKING FOR ALEXA! AND THAT'S FINAL!"

Stare from all.

"What? What'd I do?"

InuYasha raised his eyebrow. "Whoa, since when where you in charge?"

Kagome laughs nervously, "em..................................................since now?"

InuYasha looked at her. "Why do you always take his side?"

Kagome shook her head. "I do not"

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"**DO NOT!!!!!"**

"**DOO TOO!!!!!!"**

Shippou whispers to Miroku. "Does this happen often?"

Miroku nods. "Yeah, but they like each other deeeeeeeeep down."

Shippou shakes his head. "But remember, that's not Kagome, its Jess. She's not too happy with what's going on, so I doubt that she likes him."

"Yeah, well, _Kagome_ likes him deeeeeeeep down."

Sango scoffs. "God, you are so blind."

Miroku shakes his head. "Yes, yes I am. Wait, I'm not blind when it comes to you."

**Smack.**

"I shoulda known........................."

Sango glares. "Yeah, you should. But anyway, they dooo like each other deep down.............." **sigh**

Miroku agrees. "Yeah........................."

**Pat pat**

Sango screeches. "MONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**Slap**

Shippou's eye twitches. "Uh, Kirara, was it?, I think we're the only sane ones in the whole group."

suddenly.......

"OW! She kicked me! Dammit!" InuYasha howling, then stares daggers at the poor girl.

Kagome snickers. "jerk, it's your fault that it hurt."

Sango stops hitting Miroku over the head with her boomerang. "well, that was effective."

Kirara meows.

Miroku shakes his head. "seems Lady Kagome, er, Jess has learned a new way to calm InuYasha down."

Shippou laughed. "well, it doesn't look like it calmed him down."

Sango shakes vigorously. "no, I doesn't."

Kagome giggles nervously. "oh, well." (**pause).** "Hey, what's that over there?"

everyone looks up.

Kagome points at fluffy thing flying through the air......

Shippou chimes in, "hey, it looks like a tail!"

InuYasha growls. "Sesshomaru."

Sango sweat drops. "uh oh..............."

Kagome looks kinda confused. "you mean the guy called "Fluffy?""

InuYasha starts, then bursts into hysterical laughter. And Miroku and Sango freak.

Shippou blinks. "what's wrong with you guys?"

"InuYasha................laughing.........................it BURNS!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Sango screams, clutching her head and over-reacting. _(hey, I would too)_

Miroku shudders. "he laughed................".

Sango nods. "this is getting too freaky." Sango and Kirara run, er, fly away.

"only sane ones here." Miroku mutters. shakes head. "oh, well. Someone had better return him to sanity as best we can."

Kagome and Miroku both reach InuYasha at the same time.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......................................................................OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Came from InuYasha.

Kagome had just kicked him in the shin, **_again_**, and Miroku hit him over the head with his staff. Go monk go!

"finished yet?" Miroku asked.

"I think so, no, wait ...... ...... ......... ..hahah ahahaha hahahah ahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...........................................................................ok, I'm done."

Sango and Kirara return, shaken.

Kirara meows.

Sango nods. "Kirara says now that is over, are we ready to continue?"

Kagome whispers, awed. "You can understand that cat?" No one listens to her.

InuYasha nods. "yeah." looks at the cloud of fluff that is his half-brother.

Shippou snickers. "sure you are, bucko."

Miroku sighs. "here he comes"

Kirara meow meow meow meow

Sango looks at her. "ok................................"

Kirara "woof."

Sango shudders. "now I'm scared......................................"

InuYasha, who had been ignoring everyone, mistakes her fear of Kirara's sanity for fear of his girlish half-brother. "you should be."

Shippou, "hey, this Sesshomaru dude, is he a guy or a girl? He dresses like a girl, but is supposed to be a boy........................................"

InuYasha looks thoughtful _(dun dun dun! bad sigh---_). "you know................(pause)............I always wondered about that............."

_Author's note: anyone know for sure? Give me a hint peoples!!!_

Kagome looks up, kinda dazed. "up.....................he's here."

InuYasha pulls out Tetsuaiga.

Shippou stupidly looks at the sword. "ooooooooo..................................big sword!"

InuYasha hits Shippou. Shippou bites InuYasha. Miroku and Sango shake their heads, and Kagome bursts out into hysterical laughter.

_Author's note: well, this is one way to have your hated half-brother find you, that's for sure._

****

Sesshomaru looks down. "well, what's going on here?"

Jaken scratches his head. "that's something I've wondered, too."

"but I already told you. You're my faithful servant." Sesshomaru sighed.

Jaken mutters, "you wish."

Rin squeaked. "M'Lord, look over there!"

Sesshomaru looks mildly interested. "what is it Rin?"

Rin laughs. "look at all the people down there!"

Sesshomaru sees the group, and everything that is happening. He now is REALLY interested. _(i swear, that guy has no facial expressions what-so-ever.)_ "figures."

Jaken points. "look at all the tiny- ah!"

Jaken drops staff thingy.

Sesshomaru gives little vein pulse

Jaken sweat drops, "um..............................oops?"

**__**

Ok..........

will end there. It may be a little shorter compared to how it use to be, but I'll think of something. Ummm....... I still need a couple of "how you would you torture whatever character"s. ummmm....................review, or the orange dragons in my head will take over my fingers and type evil things. And that's not what you want to see...................................no..................................(**shudders**.)


	5. Kouga learns a painful lesson

Reviewers:

**Suaru**: hey thanks. Really? most people I have sent this too pretty much ask me, "So we send you to a decent Catholic school, and this is all you can do?" my response is normally the finger if their my friends and under the age of fifteen, or the adults I just nod sagely and say, "yea, that's what straight A's gets yea in this world." Hilarious, ain't it? lol.

**Sesshygirl3**: that's ok by me, I feel the same ALL the time. lol. yes, ur monkeys hot, but yers, so, I can only dream. ::sigh:: ::dreamy sigh:: ok--------lol. I'm sorry about ur heart, I have some extras in a jar in the freezer, rite next to where I store my social lives. want one?

**Lori**: yea, well, is this soon enough for ya? lol.

**Jess**: I KNOW Jill is really out of character, but, for my sanity's sake, I need to change some of ya around. ur not that ditzy, therefore, ur Kagome. Make sense? none what-so-ever.

though I really appreciate all u guys and all, I was kinda disappointed in you. only four reviews? and **inu-phoenix Heather**! WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME? NO REVIEW?!?!!?!!?!?!!?!?!?

Anywho----

yea. enjoy!

love 2 ya all!

* * *

The group has settled in for the night. InuYasha in his one inch thick tree branch, Miroku close, but not too close, to Sango, Sango close to her boomerang, Kirara in between Miroku and Sango, Kagome in her sleeping bag, and Shippou on the ground next to her. Kagome found it rather disturbing that Shippou shared her sleeping bag.......so.......yeah.

InuYasha sighs. "Damn moon."

Kagome wakes up. "Why? Why do you hate the mo- whoa! What happened to you?"

InuYasha snorted. "Duh, new moon."

Miroku and Shippou wake up.

"I see your not getting very much sleep tonight, InuYasha." Miroku said, sagely.

"Keh."

"Ummm, Miroku, why'd InuYasha dye his hair black? Yellow is such a better color for him.........................or purple. Such a cool color..................................." Shippou asked, looking up at the used to be hanyou.

"I didn't dye my hair, idiot."

Miroku sighed. "Every night, InuYasha, being a half-demon, turns into a full human and loses all his hanyou powers. Of course, that night is tonight, as you can see but the black hair, brown eyes instead of amber, and no claws or fangs.. And everything seems to happen that night too.................."

Kagome snores...

Miroku sweat drop. "She fell asleep?"

"Good job, Miroku, you bored her to death." InuYasha snickered.

Miroku shook his head. "No, she's breathing. She's only asleep."

"Whatever."

Miroku sighs and reaches out...

**Slap**

"MONK............." Sango started, pissed.

Miroku protested. "Hey!" large handprint on face turns a dark red. "I was going to shake your shoulder!"

"Oohh.............." (**Pause**) "..............anyway..............."

Kirara meowed.

_Author's Note: ok......that isn't funny..........writer's bock! Ahhhhhh! Must think of something! ::light bulb:: I know! It'z time!_

Next morning

"Let's go."

Kagome mutters to herself, but loudly. "Still so fucking tired......can't feel my toes.......oh, there they are.........ok, now that that's done---"

InuYasha sighs, and then kneels down. "Get on, Kagome."

Kagome starts. "WHAT?"

"Get on."

"Why?"

Sango laughs sweat dropping. "Most of the time, you ride your bike, ride on Kirara, or ride on InuYasha's back, Kagome."

Kagome looks a little uncomfortable. "Ummmm.......well that's creepy........." (**Shudders**) "............but...........how do I ride a little kitty that's bout three inches tall?"

Sango grinned. "This is how."

Kirara transforms

Kagome opens her eyes like a cartoon character _(Author's Note: oh, wait, she is a cartoon character, sorry!)_ whoa! well that's interesting.

_Author's note: thanks POTC and captian Jack Sparrow for that quote.!!_

Sango nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought at first too."

InuYasha feed. "Fine, ride with Sango." (gets up.) "Whatever." (walks away.)

Sango looks at the retreating hanyou. "You insulted him, kinda."

"Why would he care? Oh, yeah......................." Kagome asked, but the realization dawned on her. "I remember now! What Alexa told me 'bout him!"

Shippou looked doubtful. "You remember what Alexa told you?"

"Yeah...........I remember. I also remember that after she told me that, I kicked her, and she was in pain for days. But then she hit me, and I threw stuff at her, and she made me spit out my soda when she described the second movie to me..................and the first................."

Sango turns red. "OH!!!" (bursts into hysterical laughter.)

Miroku stares at Sango

"Don't you remember?" Sango asked innocently.

Miroku nodded, but grinned. "Oh, yeah.......................................we never kissed, though."

Sweat drop from Sango. "Thank god."

Kirara meow.

Shippou pouted. "I had no part, though."

Sango shakes her head. "No, you-hey, what's that?"

Everyone looks up. InuYasha returns, pulling out Tetsuaiga "bastard Koga's coming."

"uh oh..........."looks at Kagome"...........er, I'll take Kagome away....................far away." Sango said, paling.

"Yes. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kagome screamed.

Everyone fears for Kagome's sanity. _(Author's Note: I fear for Kagome's sanity, and I am writing this!)_

Sango sighs. "Ok, I'll take that as a hint........"

_Author's Note: ummm, since nothing good ever happens when Koga happens, how come Sango never takes Kagome away? It might save a few problems...........................but then it wouldn't be funny. _

Kirara and Sango pick up Kagome and fly away.................fast.

Just then.

Kouga appears. "Kagome! (Looks for her.) What did you do to her? Where is she?"

InuYasha growled. "She ran away before you could come.

Kouga growled. _(Au: guys like to growl. Trust me, I know. Lol.)_ "If you touched one hair on her head, I swear, I'll run you through Dog-Turd."

Shippou looks indignantly at Kouga. "Hey. That was not nice. Why don't you want him touching Je-, er, Kagome?"

Kouga scoffed. "Because, fool, she's my woman."

well that pissed InuYasha off quite a bit.............................................like always..................................

InuYasha pulled out Tetsuaiga. "Well, she doesn't seem to like you too much, since she just asked Sango to take her away as far as possible from you."

"I'm sure she did, but not to get away from me, to get away from you." Kouga laughed.

InuYasha snarled. "Fine then, ask Sango."

Sango returns. "Ask me what?"

InuYasha looked at Sango pointedly. "Didn't Kagome just ask you to take her away 'cause the bastard Kouga was coming?"

Kagome appears out of no-where. "No, I just needed to use the bathroom."

InuYasha sweat drop. "Ok....................................."

Kouga laughs. "Well, I see you haven't done anything to my Kagome, so I might as well leave you now. Protect her, and I might spare your life next time we meet."

InuYasha "........................grrr..................................................."

Kagome looked like she just came out of a daze. "O, dammit, was that Kouga?"

"Yea, and why?" Miroku asked, oblivious to the glares Sango was sending him for no apparent reason. _(Sooo much fun)_

Kagome thought very hard. "Alexa told me, the next time you see him, to throw something at him. Hey, look! A rock."

"What the hell are you going to do with that rock?" InuYasha asked while Shippou from the backround yelled "What? You knew. She was planning this all along. WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US????"

Kagome nodded. "ready..............................aim...................................fire!

Throws rock.

Kouga far away. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

Sango looked mildly surprised. "Nice shot."

Shippou nodded. "Seriously."

* * *

Ok, guys, please. I have one last plea for you. If you are reading the story, please please review. I have some people who read the first three chaps, but never reviewed again, and I dunno if they are still reading. Please review!.

If your most hated character IS Naraku, feel free to make up a torture for him as well. I will seriously try to use the ideas u guys give me.

anyway---

please please please please guys try to review. I have a final warning, I WILL, no matter how much it'll hurt, I WILL take this off line if I don't have five new reviews by September 30th. I'm serious, guys, everyone is nagging me about updating, but only like three or four precious people review for every chapter! u guys are all writers too, and if u leave ur pen name, I read and review for you! don't u like feeling loved? Well, I would like some of that feeling to.

Thanks.

ROCK ON


	6. Biking The Habits

SHOUT OUTS YEAH, EVERYONE'S FAV MOMENT!!!! ::sarcasm::

**sesshygirl3** : oh, wow, I never thought of it like that. Yeah, I do love fanfiction, and it gonna help me pass English, so, why the hell not? Lol. Awwww, thanks. I'm a true blue die-hard Sesshy3 reviewer too! ::bows:: Yeah---that'll work. You'll help it stay up, that's for sure. Thanks soooo much.

**Jess** : empty threat Jess, empty threat. ::lol:: new chapter---well---very soon my friend, very soon.

**InuPhoenix** : only you heather, only you. My first reviewer has returned!! wh00ter!!!

**Suaru** : thanks, and I definitally will. Oh, yeah, whatever you favorite part of this is dedicated to you. nice e-mails----lol. And---thanks for the dedication in your stories!!!

**Tobias** : awww-w—thanks. Most of the time, I kinda find it a burden---you know—when obsessive fans email and im u threating u to hang you by your toes if you don't update-----the usual.

**Sarah** : this is your first shout out-----so------hip hip hurray!! lol. thanks for reviewing twice----- and----- you really have to work on your grammar. lol. j/k.

**Tsuki-no-oni** : Awwwww---whatever your favorite part is---its dedicated to you too. three reviews! wh00ter! lol. no-no-I'm not mad. and, **Meeting Place** (PEOPLE, THE AUTHOR SAYS: GO READ IT!!! IT ROCKS!!!!) is going REALLY well. uh-oh----some fun in the future? looking forward to it--------

**All** : wow, I got a total of eleven more reviews than last time. YES YES YES!!! I live for my reviewers. kinda addicting----- Anyway----has anyone come up with their most ahted character? I'd love to torture anyone,e ven someone who shows up fro a grand total of maybe one ep, I don't care. It'll be funny, and you can bet on that! Well, I luv you all. thanks soo much!

_**PS**: a review would be like a birthday present-------my birthday's on the 16th. ::grin:: chaos!! mania!! humor!! and ass-kicking moments------for ur hated characters!!! lol._

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

**Chapter VI**

**Biking Biking and more, er, biking.**

Group stops again. Kagome's riding the bike. InuYasha pissed at random stops. Shippou, Kagome, and Sango and pissed at InuYasha for being pissed at them, Miroku confused at why everyone's pissed, (clueless...........as always........) and Kirara the way she always is.......................................................cute!

Kagome sighed. "does anyone but me feel like venting some anger?"

Miroku shakes his head. "now, now, no point in killing them all off now."

Kagome sighed, again. "not like that, you idiot. I mean we should do something interesting.".

Miroku opens his eyes wide. "ohh."

Sango thinks God, such a perv..........wait...........where's the classic perverted moment?'

**grop grop pat pat.**

"Houshi-Sama!!!!"

Miroku pales. "o- crap."

(**bam**.)

Sango sighs. "that felt good."

_Author's Note: ok...........sweatdrop............Heather's getting used to this..........a little TOO used to this......._

Kagome shakes her head. "god, how can she stand all this riding?"

Sango nodded. "seriously. I took a bike riding course one summer......................"::shivers:::

"let me try!" Shippou called from her shoulder.

Kagome sweat drops. "um............Jill...............you're kind of..............................."

Shippou falls off bike. "hm............"

"................short."

"thanks for telling me."

Sango mutters strained. "will not laugh openly..................."

mini bubble over head should Sango/Heather rolling on ground laughing like a maniac.........)

"o.....crackers....................." (bursts out laughing)

Miroku & InuYasha sweatdrop.

"ok......" Sango took deep breath. "........I'm done. Let me try." (**shudders**) "pain in legs shall come back..............................."

Sango sits on bike and rides around in circles................Kirara sitting in the basket, eating a mouse ()

"This isn't sooooooo bad... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ." .::**freeze**:: "......... ... ....pain comes back with vengeance............ ... ... ... ... ....." ::**wince**::: ".............................I best be leaving now................." ::::**hobbles** **away**:::: ".................................." Sango stated all of that in one breath. _(breathe woman breath dammit!)_

Kirara meow.

InuYasha eyed the bike confidently. "I'll try."

bike falls over...

"Guess not......" (gets in tree......) ".............ok..............its not as easy as it looks."

Miroku chuckles. "How hard is could it be?"

_Author's Note: ooooooooo...........you asked for it, Miroku........................_

Miroku looks at bike. "I'm supposed to sit on this thing, right?"

Kagome gives the little pissed of thingy (the thing InuYasha gets on his hand when he hits Shippou, that thing.) "yes, Miroku, you most certainly SIT on that part of the bike, that is designed for SITTING, therefore it should be SAT on by someone willing to SIT on the part made for SITTING."

(**bam**, **bam**, **bam**, **bam**, **bam**, and more **bam**.)

Miroku sweat dropped. "ok........................I get it!"

Miroku sits on bike. "ooooowwww...............................seat in uncomfortable spot......................" ::**shivers**::...........

"it's not soo hard, eh?" InuYasha mocked.

Miroku glare...

InuYasha moves over on the tree branch.

"ok..........now pedal.........I think..............." Miroku said slowly, his face beaded with sweat from thinking so hard.

Kagome nodded. "ok.........that's right. Now............lean forward............push your feet forward.........and pedal..............now faster..............."

Miroku grinned when he started to move forward. "I can do this!"

Sango gets an evil idea. "hey, houshi-sama................"

Miroku turns around and gets an evil, perverse grin on his face. "yes, my dear Sango?"

Sango blank stare. "ok............................................................. .....................................................................................................................................................................................................hey, I have a bet for you."

Miroku looked confused. "a bet?"

(Kagome thinks evil thoughts.......)

Sango sighed. this was gonna be harder than she thought. "ok, if you can do this, I will go on a date with you."

"a what?" :::evil grin::: "a date, eh? Anything. Just tell me to do anything, Lady Sango." Miroku grinned.

"er..........ok. Ride the bike.................."

"but I can already."

"with out your staff balancing you."

"oh." (frown.) "Ok----."

Kagome takes staff. InuYasha looks interested, Shippou disturbed, and Kirara fell asleep. Aw.......................................

"ok, now."

Miroku does fairly well, pedaling and everything. Balancing was a little off balance without the staff,................but he was certainly better than my over-weight brother...... "Sango, do you have anything nice to wear on our date?"

::twitch::

"you could always wear your demon slaying costume..............." Miroku added as an after thought. (god, that thing I skimp-y)

Sango snapped, again. "THAT'S IT, MONK."

she took the bike by the handlebars and wheels it over to the hill.

(Guess what she does next...)

"IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE FOR YOU, MONK." Sango half-shouted. She then pushes Miroku down the hill. Miroku, startled, lets go of handlebars.

_Author's Note: Miroku is some form of genius, isn't he? Well, if he is, he's hiding it very well....................................._

Miroku lands on ground with a thump. Or, more of a thud, or, if you where close by, a bam.

"...........................................................river..........................................................................."::sigh:: "... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .hand, you betrayed me again. Thanks a lot."

"YOU'RE WELCOME, DUDE." Sango laughed, very evilly.

InuYasha turned to look at Kagome. "don't get any ideas."

Kagome shook her head and frowned. "don't worry,. It only works once, and on very gravely hills too......................."

"mutter mutter mutter..............." came from the bottom of the hill.

Sango look over at her befallen monk. "happy now, or do you want more?"

"how can it get any worse?" (looks at river) "oh........................no............you wouldn't."

"I would."

InuYasha "fehed." "now he's dead."

Shippou shook his head sagely. "idiot."

Sango blinked. "river!"

Miroku mutters. "darn." (thoughtful pause). "Do we still go out on a "date?""

"why.................you......................" Sango sputtered.

**bam**.

Kagome shook her head, laughing. "harsh."

"you said it." Shippou added his two pennies worth to the conversation.

And Kirara mewed.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

* * *

author's Note: ok----um-----hi everybody! ::waves:: ok---now that that is out of my system------

well well well, chapter six. This has really grown-----I never expected it to go past chapter five, but my faithful reviewer have made i possible. I'm seriosu, they are all excellent, extremely talented, and really good-humored. go check 'em out!

anyway---

so, yeah, my birthday is on the 16th, and the only thing I RREEAALLLLYY want for my birthday is reviews. And a cupcake, but mostly reviews. Worse comes to worse, I'll get a cupcake instead. lol.

for new reviewers: hey! thanks for everythign and all!

For old: wow, thanks for sticking with me for a while--------

anyway---running low on ideas, so, if u really want, you get to choose. Give me a character you don't see often (ex. Koharu; Subaki; etc, etc) and i really will do SOMEHTING to em. I'm taking requests! And---if I get atleast five reviews by October 16th, I'll update ON my birthday. Yea, big deal. Well, whatever you gusy want. I"m here to serve.

Luv You ALL!!

JA!

OrangeInuYasha


	7. The Truth behind the Pack

REVIEWERS ARE GODS IN DISGUISE……. AND I LOVE THEM!

I am just so grateful……..you would never understand. I want to say something about my life: I will not be updating for a while for a reason: I'm under a lot of emotional stress/depression. I love you all, all so very, very much. I will never forget all of you.

**sesshygirl3** : yes, Sesshy will be coming in soon. but, to tell you the truth, I have no real plot in this thing. It's more of a bunch of one-shots that are all involving on-another and under the same story. I will consider the ideas……………….and thank you. Thank you so much.

**heather** : yes, well, soon, very soon. blink blink I'm doing lotsa multi-tasking right now, so, you'll see. heh heh JA!

**Suaru** : well well well, didn't know it was so obvious! grin yea, I'm gonna do that. but, its going to be a different story………….different title……….different everything. But still quote "kick ass funny". sardonic grin it's going to be fun………….

**jess** : thanks for the two reviews………..though they all say the same thing. grin yea, my birthday was awesome, thanks! I'll be seeing you soon……………and thanks for everything.

**Tsuki-no-oni** : yes, yesh, I have seen them all. Sesshy is very interesting………..and a boy? I wouldda never known…………….lol. yes, I can tell she owns him.

**Tsuki-no-oni** : yesh, yesh, I knew that. I'm not a beginner. lol thankies so much though…………………………yea, that JUST might be what she's doing. Well, it works, doesn't it? lol. have fun!

**Tsuki-no-oni** again : awww…..thank you! my birthday was awesome…..and I thank all those peoples who made it happen! my parents, my friends, my reviewers…………everyone. thank you all……………….yea, it counts. and……………………..cup-cake! wh00ter! and….chibi heads are really funny to look at……………………………

**TO ALL** : thank you all for checking this out, out of all the many different "hilarious" fanfics on this wonderful site. **all new readers**: welcome! I don't want a "pity party", I want a review please. **Old-comers/veterans**: welcome again! thank you all…but I don't want a "pity party", I want reviews! lol.

**ROCK ON**

**実はお願いがあるのですが**

STORY:

SWITCHED

CHAPTER SEVEN:

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE BACK-PACK

(Miroku had finally recovered from his little shock on how hard Sango can REALLY hit. InuYasha had forgotten about everything………and was thinking about Kikyo. Kagome was kinda pissed that Sango kept muttering under her breath and not talking at all, and Shippou was trying to figure out why everyone was confused/pissed. )

Miroku sighed. "Okey, so, what exactly had happened? What is so wrong about this date thing?"

Sango sighed. 'Oh……….why do I like him? Why why WHY???'

"Miroku, listen. I suggest you stop thinking about this, and start thinking about Jewel shards. This was all a thing in the past………right?" Kagome asked, feeling intelligent for once.

Sango blinked. "Wow. You've really learned a lot, haven't you?"

Kagome nodded. "Yeah………………….."

InuYasha starts thinking about Kagome's hair…………….

"Yeah, well, you can't help but pick up something while you're here…………….hey! Shippou, what are you doing?"

Shippou had just run into a small log. "Owie……………"

"Jill! Are you okey?" Kagome asked, trying not to laugh. And kinda slowly failing……………………….

"Hmm…………looks like Jill's gonna need some band-aids. Jess, open your bag." Miroku said, examining Shippou's head, where a small bruise was appearing. Kagome nodded.

"Wait!" Sango said, grabbing Kagome's hand. "You don't know what is in there……………….." she tilted her head over at the innocent-looking worn-out yellow bag. Sudden thunderstorm clouds gather over-head and lightning flashes.

Sango and Kagome blink.

"Okey…………..sure. Heather! You can go first!" Kagome sweat-dropped, laughing.

Sango glowered at her. "Sure……….whatever you say……………..jerk."

Kagome grinned innocently.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

They all stop for a few minutes to find a damn band-aid. Sango has been refusing to even go near the bag, though she mentally admitted that she wanted to see what was in there.

'I really want to see it………..what the hell is in there?'

That, in fact, was going through four sets of minds. Shippou just had a really bid head-ache………….

"Okey, everybody STEP-AWAY! We have it under control……." Sango muttered, relishing in the idea of knowing something other InuYasha obsessed fan-girls wouldn't know unless they read this…………….what the hell was really in that bag.

As it opened……………….violin and Vampire music plays in the backround……………………and…………………………………

It's empty.

(Just kidding)

"Damn……………………" InuYasha whistled, surprised. There was more stuff in there than there were in Wal-Mart for under a million dollars. (And that's a lot of stuff)

Sango felt her eyebrow twitch slightly as she tried to find a stupid band-aid without Winnie the Pooh on them. 'What the freak? Why does she have all this stuff again?' Kagome was trying to bend over and have a look-see without giving everyone a wonderful view of her rear, which is really hard in those skirts. 'Why did I have to leave Catholic school?' She thought darks, giving up.

"Hey! Did you find that band-aid yet?" InuYasha yelled over at the two frustrated girls, arms crossed and looking at Shippou do a weird happy dance and singing 'My head hurts my head hurts I'm gonna die.' "I think Shippou went a little crazy."

"A little?" Sango snorted. Though she wasn't really in the mood to laugh, she had to admit, it was pretty funny.

"FOUND IT!" Kagome exclaimed happily, holding up a slightly dirty wrapped band-aid. "Where was it?" Sango asked, calmly putting away the stuff she had thrown out. "Right here, by your foot. I had taken it out earlier." Kagome said, concentrating. Taking those wrappers off is pretty hard, ya know.

Sango looked at Kagome with death in her eyes, trying not to go uber-evil InuYasha on her.

Miroku just went up behind her and asked, "Sango, are you okey? You look a little constipated."

After Sango had finished beating him up, she got a pretty interesting thought. 'So do the guys in Dragon Ball Z. Hmmm. How odd.'

* * *

**Lexy-chan walks up on Amateur night Comedian stage and clears throat, hold a small microphone and a scroll.**

ahem "To provide a little more ample entertainment tonight, and since all the Amateur Comedians are kind of…….well………..busy at the moment, I, OrangeInuYasha as you may know me, shall entertain you. I have here, in my very four fingered hand" looks at hand. "Sorry, I meant five fingered, hand, I hold the entire list of what really is in kagome's over used yellow backpack." drum roll and gasps from the audience. "Do not be afraid, ladies and gentlemen, demons, hanyous, and humans, short peoples, tall peoples, average peoples, large peo…….. " breaks off as director comes running on stage and says to her, 'They get the idea.' "oh, okey, sorry. Drama queen. Anyway, I have the list. And I checked it twice and everything. Poured over episodes, manga, and Áni-manga. If I forgot anything, feel free to let my vict- um, I mean, the Amateur night Comedians out any time you want. Thank you."

Lexy-chan bows and starts to read.

"Kagome has………….

band aids.

disinfectant.

shampoo

clothes

homework

(hopefully) pads evil laughter

useless books

InuYasha manga (no lie, check out Episode when Shippou comes in.)

oil (bike's gotta work somehow)

socks. (I REALLY REALLY hope.)

sewing kit (Inu's haori fixes itself? I don't think so.)

hair brush (hair looks good all the time………….somehow………….I went camping for three days and poof oily and nasty.

food. (I'm guessing.)

matches

First Aid- Kit

gold locket (Inu Movie 2)

umbrella

more socks

under………….garments.

diary (wanna get my hands on that thing………………….)

ability to flirt with every guy and get away with it. (who ho………..short skirts kinda suggestive?)

more short skirts

Sango's demon-slayer outfit (I bet you anything….and I don't have much.)

Miroku's innocence. (gotta be somewhere……)

InuYasha's common sense. (he sure as hell doesn't have it.)

Sesshoumaru's source of pretty—ness.

Naraku, Sesshomaru, and Sango's eye-liner.

Shippou's tops

Shippou's swimmies.

Shippou's bathing suit. (I hope, I hope, oh god, I hope.)

bathing suit.

fan boy letters (every girl has them……………'cept, all mine are from imaginary guys. But, hey, I have 'em!)

fan girl letters. (ORO?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!)

Kirara's cat-nip

Kirara's thousand and one chew toys

InuYasha's thousand and three chew toys (why else do you think he likes her so much?)

dog whistle (refer to questions number 36)

paper clips

Miroku's "guide on how to get the ladies".

Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards (everyone has a skeleton in their closet………………..that one is just a really really bad one.)

socks

fanfiction stories

Her own original "Kagome's guide to corny lines/actions"

Kagura's heart

Kanna's emotions

Sesshoumaru's emotions

Jaken (once in a while, he just kinda pops in to say hi and get a nap.)

Rin's first kimono (where'd she get the other one……….?)

Jewel Shards

Pokemon cards (Her and Ash share the ability to make fools of themselves REALLY easily.)

Most of my story ideas.

Porn magazines (guess who's)

Play boy magazines (guess who's)

Myoga's courage

InuYasha' ability to make up a plan

InuYasha's "guide to cursing and falling in love with strange women." (A must have.)

And finally……………………….

SOCKS.

Ohhhhhh, look, a special unexpected performance by our one and only 'Lexy-chan! Thank you alter ego!

This chappy was a little short, so, I added the list. Socks were my biggest priority 'cause when we went to Hoover last weekend, I couldn't find my other pair of socks. Turns out that it was right next to my other pairs of pants, which I also couldn't find. Sucks.

gotta give thanks to everyone out there who made this possible. It's not ending yet, mind you, but it's getting pretty interesting now. laughs

lotsa life going around right now, I'm pretty much worn out. I'm taking my friend and reviewer Heather/inuphoenix/Sango advice and I'm actually updating. All I have to say is I'm taking an even longer break 'cause all this stuff is gonna drive me crazy. I've been………..well…………scaring myself. Again. ::laugh::

Road Trip will be updated beofr eht end of next week ::anime sweat drop:: O know that's a rather long date, but, I've gotta work the school's consession stand for nearly all day "last time ten and half hours" on Saturday. I'll see you all next week!

LEXY OUT!

PS: if I forgot anybody in my shout-outs, I'm sooooo sorry. I'll giove you two shout outs, a review, and a cookie next time. okey? and even specialier-er-er, you get to choose what kinda cookie. yay.


	8. Low on Ideas

June 22, 2005 –

June 23, 2005

Due to popular (and rather aggressive) demand, I am sorry to announce that yes; I shall be resuming the fan fiction story Switched.

:wipes brow:

Now that the formalities are over, we can get a little loose here. :loosens hakama ties: I can breathe!

God, how long it has been since I have taken up my rather beaten up black keyboard and written something so deliciously stupid it's funny. (Kinda like _Napoleon Dynamite_) (Awesome movie). And, me being the slack-off nerdy loser I am, my past is catching up to me and several of my friends have threatened to sue. Lucky for me, I spent all the remaining money on little pretty rocks from ACMoore. And I'm currently only getting three dollars allowance per week due to a little bit of debt I have stumbled into with my mother.

Anywho….lets just get onto the little bits of sunshine that I call my reviewers. (My shrink calls them liquefied healing pills for some reason).

**Tsuki-no-oni**: I actually, after writing so many replies to your –many- reviews, I can spell your name offa the top of my head! Yay! No, trust me, it's been me who has been gone. And yeah, almost. Well, good enough for an early-morning vocabulary kinda thing. If you slur something then…sure, why not?

**Heather of the Many Names**: tada! Yes. It is me. On fan fiction. I have not abandoned you. I live!

**Jess**: well, you know now. nervous laughter. Anywho………enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Eight: Abandoned with No Ideas 

Kikyo/Nicole walked along, leisurely, in the semi-dark forest, the underbrush softening her footfalls until they were almost obscured. The creepy things with little balls of glowing stuff were starting to freak her out. They. Wouldn't. Leave. Kikyo/Nicole picked up her pace a bit, eyeing them nervously.

"What the hell are they?" she asked herself mentally. "Can I shoot them?"

Suddenly, a little group of children around the ages of six or seven ran, screaming, from under the lively red berry bushes. They were completely oblivious to Kikyo/Nicole and her current inner dilemma about being followed around by little glowing things with this rather malicious glint in their eyes (or so it looked like to her.)

"Help us! Help us! That demon's gonna get us!" A couple of little girls, their ink-black hair pulled into little pg-tails, squealed.

A huge, ass-ugly demon followed, his reptilian skin stretched a little too tightly across his face and large, yellowed and cracked fangs hanging out in weird angles of his mouth.

Kikyo/Nicole had never felt so repulsed in her life. Not even after she had looked in her fifth grade yearbook and saw my (Alexa's) school picture. (**_That_** was repulsive). "Oh my…" She said, slowly backing up from the monster.

The demon, obviously blood-thirsty, turned, spotted Kikyo/Nicole, and started to advance on her, his tiny little eyes squinting at her. Kikyo dropped her bow –which was hanging off of her shoulder- and backed herself up against a rather skinny, bare tree. She was quaking with suppressed fear…her eyes were going small…her heart quickened…

The demon, a hairs-breathe away from her hair, opened his mouth, but it wasn't a hideous, blood-curling battle scream……

……in fact, a calm, slightly accented British voice flowed out of the repulsive monster's mouth.

"Excuse me, my dear lady, but do you know where Hobbiton may be?"

Kikyo, eyes wide, looked up at the monster, but quickly regretted that. She had just gotten a glimpse of the longest nose hairs she had ever seen on anything that was (presumably) breathing. "Uh…..sir….I believe you have the wrong fan fiction genre. I would look in the Lord of the Rings part of the movies genre, or the novel part."

"Oh, really now?" The demon said, slightly bemused. Kikyo/Nicole noticed, inadvertently, that his nose hairs quivered with every word he said. Hell, one looked like it had a life of its own. "That's a tad bit of a spot I've put myself in, don't you agree?" Kikyo/Nicole nodded, trying to humor him. "I was originally cast to be the Lady Arwen, but the directors realized that I was, in fact…."

"….male?" Kikyo/Nicole, finished, hesitantly.

"Heavens no! No no no no! They found out that I wouldn't have any surgery to add a bosom so I could fit in those gowns. I mean, yes, the fact that I was male didn't help, but they were desperate. I mean, look at the "woman" who plays Eowyn. That's one muscular chick, man. I wouldn't be surprised if "She ended being a "she" without the "s"."

Kikyo/Nicole, her head swimming from all the references to Lord of the Rings, continued to nod and just agree. Her eyes were, however, fixated on the demon's elongated nose hairs.

"No….they can't be…" Kikyo/ Nicole mused, her eyes growing wide. "They can't be growing!"

* * *

Naraku/KC ran a hand through his hair, repulsed. "Ugh….I gotta bathe **now**…." he thought, shivering. The oily feel of his hair was almost too much to handle….but he refused to wash in front of everybody. That insufferable woman –Kagura was it? - hung about him every chance she got, insisting on knowing every thought that went through evil Naraku/poor KC's head. 

He looked over at Kagura and glared. 'Guess who's the one who wears the pants in this relationship.' he snorted, watching Kagura as she followed every move Naraku/KC made with her dark red eyes.

A few hours later….

Naraku/KC still hadn't moved from his spot behind the rice-paper dressing screen. he continued to fiddle with his hair……first trying to pull them out; then trying to pull them back; finally giving up and storming out of the room.

Kagura's eyebrow went up, and she smirked in amusement. 'Naraku sure seems to be acting strangely.' She thought, unfolding and folding her fan repeatedly. 'NOW's my chance to do _something_.'

But her plans were interrupted when Naraku/KC re-entered the room, walking with much more of a bounce in his step. And a very large bald spot covering his head.

"Ah….much better." he sighed, again sitting down behind the rice paper screen.

Kagura just sat there in disbelief. 'Did that vain, selfish bastard just….shave his head?'

* * *

Jaken/Jamal stood on a small rock, holding the large, two-headed staff in his grubby little hands. Sighing, he awaited rather impatiently for his "master" Sesshoumaru to arrive. "Where the hells are you, dude?" He squeaked. He was getting really tired of the little brats ceaseless babbling and cheery squeals of delight echoing in his now-empty skull. 

Suddenly, a great "_whoosh_" of wind flew by. Jaken/Jamal, totally unprepared, toppled head-over-heels off of the large rock, landing on yet another larger -and pointer- rock.

"Oui, why you do me like that?" He called in his high, nasally voice after the now-present Lord Sesshoumaru. "You're doing it 'cause I'm black, right?" He taunted with a hint of attitude.

Sesshoumaru's golden eyes flicked dangerously over him. "You stupid fool." He said quietly. "If you haven't noticed, you are in fact, green."

Jaken/Jamal rolled his eyes. "Yeah, in this messed up piece of dookie you call a world, I'm green. And only three feet tall. And a slave to a prissy-ass little drag queen with only one fucking arm. But, if we were in _my_ time, I'd been so busy whooping your little fruity ass that you wouldn't realize I am black, or green, or whatever the hell I am now."

Rin stood there, watching in amazement as Jaken suddenly burst into flames.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama! Wait for me!" She cried out as Sesshoumaru, his fluffy immaculately blowing (thing of the Charlie's Angels/Shrek 2 hair toss) in the wind.

"Are we really going to leave Lord Jaken behind, Sesshoumaru-sama?" She inquired, a small bouquet of tiny, yellow blossoms clenched in her small, child-like fists. Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered from the little flowers to the little hands to the little body they were attached to.

"Yes Rin." He said stiffly. "Jaken was tired. He's resting now."

A couple of yards back, a smoldering Jaken lay in a pile of his own ashes. "That's a pile of dooooookieeeeeee." He called after Sesshoumaru's and Rin's retreating backs.

* * *

Kagome/Jess grasped her ugly yellow backpack on her back and fiddled with her bow, still npt sure if she can master it by the time she decides to play "Ultimate Survivor". 'I swear…' she thought, shaking her head. 'I've never been this pissed off since I saw that damn _Grease_…. ' 

Suddenly, the image of the scarcely-clad Sandra Dee dancing up that stupid metal walkway from the end of the movie invades her mind.

"Holy Shit!" She screamed, grabbing her head. Everyone stopped, staring at her. "No……must not look……must not look……."

Lets just say…..later on, she had nightmares that night.

But she found a way to cheer herself up considerably.

She taught herself, instead of saying any kind of curse word; she now says "Sit." Just to see what happens.

* * *

Well, there we go. End of chapter Eight. As a bit of a disclaimer, I would like to add that I absolutely haven't and probably never will seen the Star Wars series. That's why I feel entitled to make fun of it. :grin.: 

I also really really do like the movie Grease. Jess, who plays our unfortunate Kagome-chan, doesn't. I cater to my victims' needs, except when it means that I have to color categorize their M&Ms. That I refuse to do. Like Heather-san, my not-so-unfortunate Sango, will know, little bits of colored chocolate stains my hands. That's really why I got a black keyboard. :grin.:

AND...I absolutally love Lord of the Rings, so, I feel entitled to make fun of it. :grin:

I love you all, therefore, I can make fun of you all. cheer

Ta-----Da!

ROCK ON

...Lexy-chan


	9. The End for Me

* * *

The end. I wish it where as easy as I wish it could be….heck, _should_ be. This, contrary to popular belief, is not going anywhere. I would like to thank two of my die-hard fans, **Sesshygirl04 **and my good friend **InuPhoenix118** for continuaisly reviewing and sending their encouragement. I know many of you will be slightly disappointed, but hopefully my next story will, along with flourish and actually go somewhere, will be as loved and reviewed as this humble eight-chapter, not going anywhere group of, well, chapters.

I'm sorry guys, but this is the end of "Switched." Me not being able to come up with something miraculously humorous or side-splitting funny, I have decided to discontinue this story.

I know, I know, you're all gonna come and get me. ('Specially Heather….she knows where I live. OH SHIT! We're sharing a three-hour car ride together…..so, while you are cursing me, please say a teeny-weeny, tiny prayer too. X.-…..)

Well then….enjoy my next (and hopefully more successful) story!

* * *

Sincerely,

Alexandra Fee

(orangeInuYasha)


End file.
